Do as I say (not as I do)

I came to California 4 years ago from Seattle. I just packed everything into a U-haul one day and left. Some may say that I live my life very close to that. I have very high expectations for the people in my life mainly men. It isn't a question if I have to pick up and leave any of them and I think that, may be a bit of defense mechanism on my part. I suppose some people may find that harsh, but it's worked for me and it keeps the drama in life to a minimum.

I've had men in the past accuse me of deliberately starting arguments in an effort to create drama. Hmm. I suppose they could be somewhat correct in that statement. Living life as an artist does give you a little bit more of an extreme edge on life. From how you dress, speak, make love, but most of all fall in love. Sometimes I curse my creativities. Some little girls were read love stories, and then they grow up and realize that prince charming is actually that guy eating chips on your couch to the Lakers game. They have the chance to get away from the happily ever after, and just accept that sometimes being content ever after has to be good enough. Then some just accept ever after, which is what this song is about. Most of us have been brain washed with the fairy tale, but the truth is none of us has lived it. Reading an article on soul mates one day, I thought it was summed up very well when the writer said that not every lifetime has one, or at least not one of love.

Although, here I am writing love songs, writing about heartbreak and lust. The ideal never seems to go away, not even with age. I wonder if romance writers have normal relationship. Perhaps I should speak to one. Have any of them ever been referred to as "a bit of a handful"? If I never hear myself referred to as this ill educated cliché again it would be too soon. I guess the truth is that none of the songs are really about one person, except this one. This song was written about a specific person, one whom I will never reveal. Aside from making an amazing song, I think it is an amazing story. A story of a woman who gives everything for love, someone who has sacrificed her ever after all together and dealt with life at every passing moment. Never knowing what will come after and just hoping to make it thought the day, hour, minute. Believing that life is just a series of nightmares that you're never woken from not even with death.

So, accuse me of leaving prematurely, accuse me of being harsh to those who bring grief. Tell me that I have to have more understanding and that I need to "tone down" my stubbornness. Convince me that love is worth all of the heartache that it brings, if you only stick it out and wait. Bring to me all of these conclusion and more, and when you wake up, let me know.